Why Do They Call it a Blow Job?

Posted: 36 days ago in Everything Else Sex & Relationships

Loli

Thinking about a blow job doesn’t keep me awake at night, but why it’s called that is something I have pondered over the years.

Haven’t you?

As long as I can remember, I’ve always told my patients that there are no dumb questions. But the truth is, I’ve gotten some pretty dumb ones in my twenty-five years of practice. Like the guy who asked if I would lie down next to him before his treatment to relax him. WTF??! Or the woman with 6 children under the age of 5 who couldn’t understand why she was so tired all the time. Come on, really??

This is not one of the dumb ones, since I’ve yet to figure out the answer.

Why do they call it a blow job?

This question came to me from a young woman in her first intimate relationship, who, believe it or not, asked my advice on how to give great oral sex. (I’m still trying to figure out what it was about me that led her to believe that I could offer her good advice!).

I’ve been around the block a few hundred times, and I can tell you that if I were in charge of naming sexual acts, it wouldn’t be called a blow job — it would be called a suck job.

Before you start commenting that blowing on your guy’s private parts can feel good, let me say that yes, it can feel good — great even — but the blow is not the majority of the job, is it?

And while we’re at it, let’s talk about the female version of the blow job. Can we call it a lick job, instead of a muff-dive? Wouldn’t telling your partner you’re in the mood for a lick job be better than suggesting/begging them to go down on us? “Hey, any chance I could get a lick job before we go out for dinner?”. Yeah, that sounds much better, doesn’t it?

The Danger in a Blow Job

Not only is the term blow job majorly misleading, it can be downright deadly. Yes, you heard it here, people. Having air blown into your penis or vagina can kill you.

Here’s what can happen: when air is forcibly blown into your privates, a bubble can form and make its way into your blood stream, blocking the flow of blood to your heart, brain, or other organs. This air bubble acts just like a clot, and can result in a stroke if it ends up in your brain, or heart attack if ends up in your heart. It’s called an air embolism. This most commonly occurs in scuba divers if they rise to the surface too quickly, or after a chest trauma or surgery. Symptoms include difficulty breathing, chest pain, mental or neurological changes and a bluish hue to the skin, and should be treated as a medical emergency.

That’s serious business, folks. It’s much more likely to happen in pregnant women than men, or women on the whole, but still, do you want to risk that shit for a little experimentation?

So in matters of oral sex play please, please, stick to the suck-lick variety, and step away from the blow.

Join in the fight to spread awareness.
#saynotoblowjobs #suckisthenewblow

Ooh-La-Lashes

Posted: 42 days ago in Mirror Mirror

 

Beautiful Women Eye Close Up

Beautiful Women Eye Close Up

Hello, Gorgeous Lashes.  Where’ve you been all my life?

Have you noticed that every woman in People magazine seems to have mink eyelashes? Every. Single. One.   And a few of the men, too.  What’s the deal with all the lush lashes?

I’ve been using drugstore mascara since forever.   A friend of mine has been raving on Facebook about this new mascara she was using.   And frankly, she was getting a little annoying about it.

“It’s just f*cking mascara!!!”, I’d thought a time or two.   (Sorry, Aimee). Finally she reached out to me personally and told me she was sending me some, and that I should shut up and try it.

The only reason I even cracked it open was because, along with other horrible and unsightly things that happen when you approach a certain age, I seemed to have a case of disappearing eyelashes. Yes, girls.   Something else to look forward to.

Oh, sweet mama!

There’s really only a couple of products that get me juiced up about my lashes.  Now, mascara by Younique is one of them.

The first day I tried it someone said my eyes looked “Ah-mazing” – without solicitation.   The second day, two of my friends seemed to be looking me over a little too closely.   I got a little “Jersey” on them, and was like – “What the eff are you staring at?”.   “We’re trying to figure out what’s different about your eyes.   They look Ah-mazing.”  Again with the Ah-mazing.

I guess there is something to this stuff.

The Younique mascara is a two-tube kit (sold in a cute little case for $29.).   You put on a coat of the gel, immediately followed by a coat of the lengthening fibers, and then a final coat of the gel.  Voila! Kardashian-worthy eyelashes are yours.   The instructions say you can put several coats on, but truly, I was really impressed after just one coat.   I did get a little wigged out after I first applied the fibers; it looked like little black dust-bunnies were camping out on my eyes.   Immediately after the second coat of gel, though, those smoothed into the longest, thickest lashes that had ever graced my eyeballs.  I’m a show-me-don’t-tell-me kinda girl, so here’s a tutorial:

The three coats went on in a quick minute, didn’t make a mess on my cheeks, and stayed on all night.   They washed off my lashes quickly, but I did have to scrounge around under my sink for some eye makeup remover because it did make a bit of a mess on my skin.

All in all – I’m pretty darn impressed with Younique mascara. You get the look of false lashes or extensions at a fraction of the inconvenience and cost.   Give it a try.   And if you order here by July 3rd, Aimee will send you a FREE lipgloss ($15 value!).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bathing Your Newborn: Why You Shouldn’t

Posted: 49 days ago in Health Parenting Pregnancy Wellness

child

Why shouldn’t you be bathing your newborn?

Not long ago I was with a patient as she delivered her baby in a hospital. As soon as the cord was cut and it was determined that the baby was perfectly healthy, the nurse whisked her away for her first bath to “scrub all the gunk off her”. Scrub she did. It hurt me to watch.

Well, Nurse Ratchet, that “gunk” is there for a reason, you silly little wench.  Studies actually support a delay in bathing your newborn for several days.

The medical term for the cheesy white stuff that covers most newborns during birth is Vernix Caseosa (translation: cheese varnish – ha!), or Vernix for short. You can even see it in-utero…check it out here below.

Vernix is produced by baby’s sebaceous glands starting in the 3rd trimester. Rich in emollients and antibacterial properties, vernix protects baby’s skin while in utero. You know how your skin wrinkles in the bath after only a few minutes?   Imagine being in fluid for 40 weeks!   Vernix buffers the skin and prevents loss of fluids and electrolytes in utero. During birth, vernix provides an antimicrobial layer against the bacteria-rich vagina and protects the skin from friction as baby is squeezed down the birth canal – baby lube!

But what about after baby is born? Shouldn’t we wipe that shit off?   It’s gross!

Gross though it may be, vernix is thought to help with regulation of baby’s body temperature in the first hours after birth – it acts as an insulator. That’s a big deal, because it can be really difficult for babies to maintain proper body temperature.

It is also known to assist in the adaptation from life in the womb to life outside the womb. It’s a different world out there, people! Wet-to-dry, different pH, scratchy clothes, etc. Vernix is the perfect moisturizer/insulator/antibiotic ointment.

Johnson’s baby lotion has nothing on vernix (more on that train wreck later…but I’ll leave you thinking about why it’s PINK!)   If only we could bottle the stuff!

Rubbing your newborn with a soft towel or blanket after birth will help to stimulate respiration and rub some of the vernix in, without wiping it off.   There is no need to be bathing your newborn until day 4 or 5, when the great majority of the vernix will flake off by itself. A soft, wet cloth around the mouth, eyes and genitals will take care of hygiene needs until it’s really time for the first true bath.

 

 

 

Why Social Media Sucks

Posted: 57 days ago in Inspiration Lifestyle

Social media doodles drawing

 

Dear Social Media, we have to talk.

I love you because you are the reason Dr. Tania exists. But then I hate you, because you (can) suck.

BTW, we all suck.

By we, I mean me. And you.

Social media can suck worst of all.

Ouch. I just bit the hand that feeds me, I know.

Why am I so angry? Because I’m sitting here on my couch on a Saturday night with bed-head and dirty sweats on, but to look at my Facebook page or Instagram, one might get the impression that my weekends are spent lounging on fabulous beaches or sipping signature cocktails at trendy restaurants.

Yes, I am lucky enough to have some amazing, Instagram-worthy experiences.   But much more of my life consists of the ho-hum mediocrity that makes up the real world.

The problem arises when I’m sitting home feeling like a loser as I scroll through your party-perfect life, or you talk smack about my latest beach pictures while you’re wiping toddler-poo off of your walls.

Guess what?   We all have our version of toddler-poo on our walls, we’re just not sharing it with our “friends” and followers.

We suck because we portray to the world an opening-night performance on a daily basis, when really, much of our lives are messy, boring and downright un-Facebook worthy.

You know I’m right.

Another case in point is the dilemma of today’s college students. Social media is now considered the “fifth wall” of the dorm room.   When I was in college, if we were homesick or lonely, we’d commiserate with a roommate or go sit in the student union and strike up a conversation over coffee.   Today’s lonely college kids sit in their rooms, convinced that everyone else is having a better time than they are.

I asked a struggling college kid I knew which of her friends was having the time of their lives.   I knew for a fact that the first three she mentioned had critical bouts of homesickness to the point where their parents had to intervene in person, yet they were portraying a life of partying perfection to their peers…..as was the original struggling college kid!

I don’t know the answer.

Should we start posting our schlumpy pictures? #reallife #loser #badhairday?

Yes.

Should we spend less time on social media and more time living our own lives?

Yes.

Should we realize that the pictures and status updates that we envy are just fleeting moments, and that most of us are on the hamster wheel of life?  And that life is generally pretty mundane?

Yes, yes and yes.

So do me a favor: try to suck just a little less. And the next time you see a picture of me doing something fabulous, know that I’m quite likely posting it from my couch where I’ve been sitting so long I’ve grown roots, with my hair in a messy bun and a sweatshirt with stains on it. And I like it.

Essential Oils for Almost Everything

Posted: 63 days ago in Everything Else Health Lifestyle Wellness

essential-oils

Essential Oils are everything to a girl.

How do you use them? When do you use them? Where do you use them? My simple answer to each of these questions is… for pretty much everything, almost all of the time, and practically everywhere. And there are many people from both today and long ago who would have the same answer. Essential Oils have been used for thousands of years. We know this, in part, because they have been referenced in Papyrus and Hieroglyphics and throughout The Bible. As far back as those sources date, they were used for both their medicinal and spiritual benefits. Today people continue to use these gifts from nature for those same purposes and in a variety of other ways as well. Not to mention, research is supporting their use more and more.

Everyday Oils blurredEssential Oils are helpful for everything from mini emergencies to much larger, more complex challenges. I can’t imagine not having essential oils because they are so useful! I always carry a few with me because I never know when I might need them! Once I spilled scalding hot water on my hand while meeting a client for tea and was able to whip out my Lavender and soothe the burn almost immediately. Another time, I arrived at a party just when the house full of kids came running in after they’d disturbed a bees’ nest and had been stung multiple times. Using Lavender and an oil blend called Purification saved the day and they were able to return to playing (away from the nest, of course) pretty quickly. In addition, because Oils are so versatile you can use them many times and for many things throughout the day.

Maybe you would you like to [fill in the blank] with essential oils:

  • alleviate muscle and joint pain from yesterday’s workout.
  • freshen your breath throughout the day.
  • support your digestive system after a hasty or spicy lunch.
  • calm your nervous system and alleviate minor anxiety before a big event or important conversation.
  • lift your mood on a dreary day.
  • maintain healthy blood sugar levels to reduce cravings.

Think about your day…Do you want to feel more relaxed (traffic?), focused (work deadline?), alert or energized (lack of sleep?) or feel less itchy, sneezy (is it Spring?), have that tickly feeling in your throat (everyone around you coughing?) or want to cleanse surfaces (grabbing a shopping cart?). Then you’d like Essentials Oils too!

Stress Away beachThis morning I added Lemon oil to my water because it’s detoxifying and uplifting, put a blend called Thieves on the bottoms of my feet to support my Immune System, added Lavender to my coconut oil to nourish my skin, used my favorite blend right now, Abundance instead of perfume, dropped Cinnamon in my breakfast (yummy), sprayed Purification on my dog to repel fleas and ticks before our walk, diffused Frankincense for a short Meditation, then put a blend called Brain Power on the back of my neck and temples to sit down and write this blog post and it’s not even lunchtime yet!

I truly believe every person on the planet can benefit from using essential oils… everyone can use immune, respiratory, digestive, circulatory, nervous, or endocrine system support at one time or another. Plus we all have rough days, get cuts or sunburns, like flavors in our food and drinks, get minor aches and pains, and want to have a restful night’s sleep. The list of benefits and uses is seemingly endless because remember, they’re Essential for Almost Everything Oils.

If you’re thinking about embarking on this fun and rewarding oily journey, it’s important to know that there are many essential oil grades on the market and they don’t all yield the same results. Therefore it is crucial to find the highest quality essential oils by working with someone who has studied essential oils, and by doing research for yourself (including contacting companies of interest to ask questions). PubMed, NIH, and NCBI are great places to start your research especially if you want to learn about a specific topic.

Ready to bring Essential Oils into your life? Feel free to visit my website to learn more about them and for instructions on the best way to purchase them. One of the greatest tools to have as you embark on this journey is a strong support system so if you choose to purchase your oils through my website, you will gain access to a Community of Health Coaches and many other passionate and knowledgeable people supporting you on your journey of learning and wellness! More details on my website, www.nourishtolive.com, about this amazing free group as well!

SPECIAL OFFER: The first 20 people to buy a Premium Starter Kit through my website will win a free bottle of Orange oil which is one of my very favorite oils and one I use every day! Please email me with the code DrTaniaEssentiallyEverything once your order is placed to qualify for this offer.

Molly Hauck

About Molly Hauck

Molly Hauck is an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, Essential Oil Educator, and founder of Nourish to Live located in Annapolis, MD.

The Preserve Annapolis

Posted: 90 days ago in Everything Else Lifestyle

the-preserve-restaurant-annapolis

I eat out quite a bit, but rarely am I compelled to write a review (of sorts).

Preserve Restaurant in Annapolis changed that.

Sorry for those readers who aren’t within shooting distance of this Annapolis, Maryland eatery.  However, I still highly recommend the trip to all you out-of-towners!

I am not remotely a food critic, but I am a food aficionado.  My husband and I have been lucky enough to partake of some pretty incredible dishes in true foodie towns like NYC, Portland, and Charleston, as well as our own District of Columbia.

preserve-annapolisLest you think that Michelle and Jeremy Hoffman are just another cute couple playing at being restaurateurs, let me tell you that they are not.  Preserve has been 2 years in the making for these CIA grads (The Culinary Institute of America, for you food-newbies). They come highly trained and since then, have worked with and for some of the premier chefs in this country.  And lucky us, they decided to set up shop in Annapolis so they could raise their son here while treating us to some of the finest cuisine available, anywhere.

Our thoughts on Preserve restaurant?

Preserve did a damn good job of impressing us! Fresh, delicious foods backed by a commitment to using local, sustainable food sources.  Why should you care?  Well check this out: 7 Benefits of Eating Local Foods. Even cooler is that the genesis of their name, ‘Preserve’, nods to their love of pickling, preserving and fermenting foods.  Not only are these processes delicious, they are good for you (for real!).

pickling-preserveWe showed up for dinner at Preserve on their first Friday open to the public, surprised to see a full house and a waiting list — but more than willing to wait. Michelle, masquerading as a lovely hostess, told us there might be as much as an hour wait, but that she’d text us the minute a table became available for our party of four.

Less than 20 minutes later, I got “dinged”, and down we sat in their cozy corner booth.

Having had a cocktail (or possibly three) before I arrived, I brazenly asked told our waitress that we didn’t want to look at the menu, we just wanted her to bring us any four appetizers and four entrees that the chef would like to prepare for us.  Olivia didn’t miss a beat. She and Michelle conferred, and moments later she described in mouth-watering detail what they had chosen for us.  I have to say, her menu savvy was impressive, and she was cute as a button with a big personality – they have definitely not lost the art of customer service here.

I won’t embarrass myself by trying to explain the dishes in detail; I’ll leave that to the experts.  Let me just say that everything was fresh, delicious, beautiful and most dishes were very atypical of the tres’ predictable crab cake and rock fish specials a la Annapolis. This meat-averse girl was very happy with the many vegetarian options available in addition to fresh animal proteins.

preserve-info-annapolisBeyond the great service and food, the décor (most DIY projects by chef/owners Michelle and Jeremy) was spot-on.  Great comfy wall seating with a subtle nautical flair. A garage door fronting Main Street to enjoy an (almost) al fresco meal was our favorite touch. Even the restrooms (unisex, thank goodness) were papered with the Farmer’s Almanac, a homage to Preserve’s philosophy of truly farm-to-table.  I even dig their logo, which is reflective of their menu – simple yet intriguing!

At a time when many new digs are trying to capitalize on the farm-to-table movement, Preserve doesn’t spend a whole lot of time waxing philosophical about that.  They are too busy dishing out great food to those of us lucky enough to find a seat at their dream child.

Bon Appetite.

(No vegetables were harmed during the writing of this blog post).

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Posted: 91 days ago in Everything Else Health Wellness

Are Your Nipples Normal?

Posted: 97 days ago in Health Wellness

nipples

Truth is, that’s a trick question because there is no “normal” when it comes to healthy nipples.

Officially, the nipple of your breast is the nub that sticks out (or in the case of inverted nipples, sticks in).  The nipple is in the center of the colored part of your breast, called the areola.  Since it’s fairly common to refer to the entire areola/nipple combo as the nipple, we’ll do that, too.

ThinkstockPhotos-98972703So, back to what’s “normal.”

There are almost no two nipples that are alike (if you don’t believe me, check out this nipple gallery), so let’s get into what makes our nipples so different.

Nipple Color
Nipples come in various shades of tan, pink and red, and usually deepen to brown once a woman becomes pregnant.

Nipple Size
Nipples can range from the size of a quarter to – and I swear this is true because I saw it – the size of a saucer. That was a bit of a shock. The actual pokey part, the ‘official nipple’, can be as small as a lentil, or as big as (gulp) an olive. A large olive. Yup, I’ve seen that one, too.

Small Bumps on the Areola
The little white bumps that you see on and around the nipple are not pimples! They’re called Montgomery’s glands, and they produce lubrication. Please don’t squeeze them!

Hair Around the Nipples
You might see some fine or even wild hairs on your nips – I swear, they grow overnight. Feel free to trim or pluck, but please, no bleach, wax, or lasers, as the skin is just too sensitive.

Height of the Nipple
Some nipples are erect all the time, and some only tighten when they get cold, stimulated by clothing, or with arousal. For some women, nipples are a major erogenous zone, and others can take them or leave them.

“Triple Nipple”
Some of us have a third or even fourth nipple. Guys are more inclined to (1 in 18!), but about 1 in 50 women have “supernumerary” nipples.

Nipple Abnormalities
Now, you do need to know that many breast cancers begin just beneath the nipple, so if you notice any changes from YOUR normal, please see your doctor as soon as possible.  These changes may include:

  • Any fluid at all coming from a non-lactating nipple
  • Scaly or crusty skin not associated with breastfeeding
  • A nipple that suddenly becomes inverted, or looks in any way different from the other breast
  • Pain, or a change in a nipple’s normal sensitivity

Breast Exams!
You should check your headlights at least monthly as part of your regular full breast exam (you are doing that, aren’t you???). But why not check them daily as you bathe or shove those puppies in a bra? Knowing what’s normal for you will make it that much easier to detect if or when something becomes abnormal.

Why More Women Are Forgoing the Hospital When Baby Comes

Posted: 99 days ago in Parenting

Home Birth
Source: NursingsSchoolHub.com

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Posted: 99 days ago in Everything Else Health Lifestyle Wellness