Say “Please” and “Thank You,” Please!

Posted: 2055 days ago in Lifestyle

saypleaseandthankyouAre you the person who didn’t hold the door for me when I was juggling a toddler in my arms, a baby in a carriage and a much-needed cup of coffee? I hope not, because I wanted to punch you.

I am not your Mama, but I do ask that you hold the door for someone who needs it, thank me if I hold a door for you, and say please if you want me to pass the pepper.

Duh…I know, that you know, that you SHOULD practice those little niceties… but do you?

And if you do, do you do it for strangers, but not for your loved ones? Or vice versa?

My husband likes to drinks a protein shake every morning, and I like to make it for him. Mostly. But every single day, when I bring it to him in his home office he says, “Thank you, sweetheart”.  And every single day, even if I may have grumbled to myself, I feel so appreciated. I know I will make him that shake every day, for the rest of our lives.

Don’t underestimate what a little eye contact, kind word, or social grace can do to make someone’s day. Try to make it a point to say “Good Morning” to the person who checks you into the gym each day. Thank the 7/11 cashier who rings up your coffee each morning, or let the mother with the squirming toddler use the bathroom first.

So thank YOU, dear readers, for giving my ramblings space in your head.

I truly do appreciate you!

Something so little, yet it can mean so much to someone else!

I Love You Because You’re Sensitive. I Hate You Because You’re Sensitive.

Posted: 2129 days ago in Sex & Relationships

IloveyoubutihateyouRecently, I found myself having the identical talk with my daughter as I had with one of my besties. It seems that the same qualities that attracted them to their boyfriend and husband, have now become a source of irritation and conflict. I can relate; can you? Braden and I were taking a walk after dinner recently, and I shared the above with him. “Uh-oh. So what is it about me that irritates you now?!” Thankfully, the irritation is tiny, but it is real nonetheless.

Wellllllll…. since he asked: One of the first things that struck me about Braden when we met was his generosity. He is the guy who will offer his time, energy, stuff and money without a second thought. That is a lovely trait, and one that I continue to be the benefactor of every single day. He is my ‘yes’ guy, and I love him so much for that and so many other reasons. However. **Yup, I’m breaking the rules we have laid out for our kids, i.e. don’t disqualify what you say with a ‘but’ or ‘however’ because nothing good ever seems to follow a ‘but’ or a ‘however’! However, I’m going there.

Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, I get irritated that Braden is always the guy who steps up with his generosity. I can’t believe I said that, because it makes me seem so petty, trite and controlling. But I yam who I yam.

My response to my kid and my friend was a lesson that I needed to learn myself. Continue to honor the qualities that you first found appealing in your mate. If you found his ambition and drive attractive, try not to criticize him for working long hours on an important project. If you find yourself being resentful of the time your partner spends at the gym, remember that you were attracted to him or her for their fit body. I’m gonna get a little deep here, but if you are attracted to someone because they are passionate about something, you have to support that passion, even if it takes them away from you sometimes. They can be passionate about you AND other things; it’s what makes them so interesting and lovely to be around!

And while you’re at it, be sensitive to the things that you may be doing that irritate those that love you. Turn about is fair play! Meaning it is only fair to suffer what ye has caused others to suffer.

Make Out With Your Guy, Everyday. With Tongue!

Posted: 2129 days ago in Sex & Relationships

kisswithtongueFor most of you in long-term relationships, the romantic nuances that brought you together fall by the wayside as life happens. It’s understandable because in a life full of mundane moments, it can be hard to see the good over the bad.

I believe the secret is in how we create the moments that we want to fill our lives and whether or not we’re with someone who makes us actually want to. Keeping these nuances alive is one of the factors in couples who either grow apart and live parallel lives, or continue to grow together.

These simple nuances shouldn’t be the icing on your cake; they should be the flower that you water everyday.

For me, the seed was planted in Braden’s hallway the day I met him. Waiting for the bathroom, I found myself engrossed in an entire wall of Braden’s pictures. In my head, I’m thinking, “what a good guy – here he is successful, with a beautiful home, but most of all look what he values. Friends and family.”

He and I actually found ourselves waiting outside of the bathroom together (thanks to the person inside that was either having a very good or a very bad time), and we started up a conversation. Let me tell you, the conversation got real, quickly! I told him about my divorce and his question to me was, “I just have to know – how do you go from till death do us part to divorce – how does that happen?” It’s hard to come up with a single answer to describe the demise of a 15-year marriage while you’re waiting outside the bathroom but I told him, “we hadn’t kissed each other on the mouth for many years.” By the look on Braden’s face, I could tell that this was unfathomable. He said, “I just can’t imagine not kissing my wife passionately every single day.”

That, ladies and gentlemen, was the first time my toes had curled in a long, long time.

So fast forward seven years in. A move, some major illnesses, teenage daughters, and life happening.

Yeah, we’ve had our mundane moments, but so many more great than bad. He and I still kiss with tongue, everyday with the exception of the other night (but we made a point to point it out!) If you’re in a long-term relationship and thinking to yourself as you read this, “ugh, do I have to kiss him?” then this is something you need to get ahead of before it’s too late. If you’re considering a long term relationship with someone, and that’s your reaction – perhaps you shouldn’t commit to that person. Ultimately, you need the right ingredients, and you need the right guy.

If you know you have the right guy, just give the notion a chance. It will do wonders for your everyday relationship.